Feeling Overwhelmed...It's Temporary
- Jan 11, 2018
I don't get overwhelmed very easily and I usually keep my cool and wits about me under pressure. I haven't gotten to the tipping point yet, but I am aware of it all rising up from the pit of my stomach and sneaking into my chest, and bubbling out from my throat...and ugh...possibly leaking out of my eyes. I hate crying when I'm under pressure. It's only happened to me twice. One of those times was when I was working for a fashion company in L.A. before I left to pursue Adored Vintage full time.
It was kind of humiliating to be honest. Crying and losing my shit in front of all my coworkers. I mean, I did one of those ugly cries running out of the room thing. Aughhhhh. Everyone thought my tears were totally justified. Still, I was deeply embarrassed by it.
Anyhow...HEY! Here's a fun fact about me: I like TO-DO lists. I like systems. I like to make plans. I like to have a Plan B and a Plan C.
Because the brick & mortar is now closed and I am moving back into my old studio (which someone else currently occupies) and I am also opening up a mini satellite home goods shop in Portland (ALL IN THE SAME FRICKIN MONTH BECAUSE I AM CRAAZZZY)...*takes deep breath*... Also, it's buying season for Spring and Summer so I'm dealing with a lot of emails, a lot of looking at linesheets, going over orders...it's A LOT. And again, I am ONE person.
Technically I'm doing two moves. But this move also requires the removal and selling off of shop fixtures and transporting multiple things to different places. Everything will happen when it's suppose to, but there is a part of me that feels like I'm just slowly moving inside chaos.
Seriously, you should see the current studio. It's an absolute WRECK and I am one of those people that has a very difficult time functioning in spaces that are out of order. I think it's because messes distract me. Like bright colors distract me. And loud patterns.
I remind myself (pretty much every hour lately) that I can only do so much, don't be so hard on yourself, you are ONE person trying to do the job of probably A HALF DOZEN (at least) people.
I'm slowly tackling each Project Hill one by one, but at the moment it seems like as I make progress on one, the other one has grown again. It's like a weird game of Whack-A-Mole. You smack one down, and another one pops up!
Thankfully, I know this is temporary. Soon I'll be back on my regular work routine and doing the things I love. I take a couple breaks throughout the day and imagine those blissful days when all I'm having to think about is photographing vintage clothes and listing them online and then packaging them in pretty paper and ribbons...ahhhh.
I just wanted to share how overwhelmed I am right now because I think it's good for shopkeepers and business owners to voice these things. Also, we're friends right? And as friends we talk about this stuff with one another.