By this time next week, we will be all moved into our new office. Well, minus myself as I will be bleary eyed, jet lagged and happy having just arrived in Dublin, Ireland. The rest of my team will be settling into our new quarters. I should note, that my trip to Ireland was planned many, many months in advance prior to us knowing we would be moving in the same week I would be leaving. I'm noting this because it comes off braggy, for lack of a better word, to go "Ooo look at me going to Ireland while my team does all the grunt work." I would not feel good leaving for this needed respite if I had not already done my fair share of the grunt work.
There is much to look forward to in this new chapter though truth be told, there's not much, if anything, in the actual planning books. This is a new thing for me. I normally like to have lots of plans and back up plans and perhaps one contingency plan incase the backup plan fails. But for this next chapter, I haven't any plans. There's no new project. No new store. No new pop-up. No new nothing other than, well, a brand new office in a new city! The hope and potential for what could be and what will be is my guiding North star in this current season and I am simmering in this feeling for a bit and might be for awhile and ooo, it feels kind of delicious. Maybe. I haven't really let myself enjoy it mostly due to current circumstances, but ahh, this is what Ireland will be for!
In a couple recent posts on Instagram I received a few comments that really warmed me and touched my heart strings. These kind words gave me such comfort and validation. I'm not someone that needs validation often, though as a fellow human being, it is nice to know that someone else recognizes that you're there, creating, weaving and telling stories, pushing up your sleeves, making it happen, and all the while remaining steadfast (though sometimes floundering) to the world you're building.
Lately I have been comparing myself to others and their perceived successes. So often I have horse blinders on (not intentionally) and I kind of just do my own thing, stick to my own path, hum my own music and dance about. But as of late, feelings of inadequacy and fine threads of doubt creep into my mind. I feel rooted, not in a good grounding way, more like I'm stuck and unable to move. It's like when Snow White is running through the forest and she's in the glade and notices the shadows and eyes beyond the darkness of the trees and she just wants to stop and live in her fear.
It's been seldom, but one must be careful because these light shadows can turn into dark thick fogs of "Am I good enough? Am I worthy?" and while I am wary of their presence, sometimes I allow the shadows of doubt and feelings of unworthiness stay too long.
But your kind words push through the veil of shadow. And yes, to be somewhat poetic and a little dramatic, while I don't often need someone to carry a light for me, it sure does freaking help to have someone shine a light on you when you, yourself, is the one creating the deepening shadows. Or at least shine the light on your path, where your feet are. "Ahhh there you still are!" And that recognition of self and one's abilities aided by these kind words just perks you right up and off you go again!
Thank you for your kindness. Not just to me, but in general. You never know how your one comment can really touch someone even if it doesn't seem like it makes any impact. This is why I never, and truly I am proud of this, have ever engaged in negativity on the internet and at the first sight of it, I usually just turn off my phone and go outdoors. The fragility of a human being on the other side of that screen is something you and I are not wise to. Harmful words are easy to spew and can cost dearly and be unbeknownst to you. On the other hand, kind words, compassion, and genuineness can hold a value immeasurable to some.
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